


Better Than Okay

by hallelujah99



Series: The Goodkind-Shalifoe Family [2]
Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Fluffy Ending, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 08:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallelujah99/pseuds/hallelujah99
Summary: Shelby and Toni have a great life together, and are eagerly anticipating the arrival of their daughter. Shelby's dad has long been out of her life, until her mom calls with some bad news.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Series: The Goodkind-Shalifoe Family [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088612
Comments: 16
Kudos: 255





	Better Than Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Another installment in the life and times of Shoni + baby Isla! This is loosely inspired by something a wonderful, loyal commenter Kayla mentioned!

It started out as one of the most peaceful mornings Shelby had known in a while. She woke up slowly, and as she started to stir, she felt Toni press a kiss to her shoulder. “Good morning, love.” Toni said, her voice still groggy from sleep. Shelby hummed in response.

“Did you get sick again this morning and I missed it?” The past several weeks had seen Shelby at 5 am with her head in the toilet, bringing up last night’s dinner. Some women said “morning sickness” was a misnomer but for Shelby, the mornings were by far the worst. This morning, however, was different.

“No, I’m actually feeling pretty good. Think I might be over all that, thank the lord.” Toni smiled and reached down to rub Shelby’s growing stomach. “I’m glad to hear it babe. I know that was rough.” 

“Yeah, but she’ll be worth it.” Shelby smiled, glancing over at the framed sonogram on the nightstand. 

“Oh for sure.” Toni agreed.

Shelby reached for her phone as she did every morning, but as soon as she clicked the screen on, the easy Saturday morning vanished. 

She had 3 missed calls and a text from her mom. 

**Please call me ASAP.**

She talked to her mom occasionally, more so lately as her mom gave her pregnancy advice. She’d laugh and say “Oh, I had the same thing with you! I promise it’ll pass, honey.” And Shelby would feel so much better. Every once in a while, she’d even ask how Toni was doing. 

Those conversations happened strictly during business hours, though, when Shelby’s dad was out of the house. She didn’t know what her mom told him about their contact, or if he even knew she was pregnant, but she didn’t really feel like asking. 

Not to mention, she’d typically just text Shelby a casual “Want to call for a bit?” she wouldn’t call her 3 times at 6 in the morning. Luckily, it was only 6:20 now, so Shelby wasn’t too delayed. 

Shelby pressed the call button and brought the phone to her ear. 

“What’s going on babe?” Toni asked beside her. 

Before she could answer, her mom picked up. “Mama?”

Toni’s eyes widened with surprise and she grabbed Shleby’s free hand for support. She, too, knew this phone call was probably a sign of something major. 

Shelby’s mom mumbled into the phone, words Shelby could hardly understand, her mind was racing, as was her heart, and she was about ready to vomit, not from the familiar morning sickness this time. “Stroke.” She heard. A stroke. Her dad, Mr. Fitness and clean eating, had a stroke. 

Shelby knew a stroke could be a minor temporary setback, or death. A stroke could be decades of deficits in any number of areas, with any level of severity, with some possible quick progress followed by very little. 

“Should I come down there?” Shelby croaked out, not even noticing she was cutting off her mother’s rant about a nurse.

“I think you should, yes.” Her mom replied. 

_

Shelby hung up the phone at 6:33, at which point Toni had already pulled up flights on her phone. “If we can get packed and out of here in half an hour, we should make it in time for this flight. Otherwise, there’s one 2 hours later.” She told her.

“We can get packed. Let’s go.” Shelby replied. Toni nodded and began typing in the information to make the purchase while Shelby ran to grab a duffel bag and throw in handfuls of whatever clothing her hands touched. She didn’t stop to think, not about how her father might be doing, or why she even felt the need to see him in the first place, when she hadn’t had any contact with him in years, by his choice. She just knew that they needed to get to the airport.

27 minutes later, Shelby held Toni’s right hand in a vice grip as she pulled out of their driveway. She had a small garbage can between her knees, fully expecting to vomit, be that from the pregnancy, out of stress of the stroke, of seeing her dad, or of getting on an airplane, because, oh yeah, that was pretty much the main PTSD trigger. But, Toni’s hand in hers grounded her, kept her sane, kept her knowing that even though nothing feels right, everything will be alright. 

_

The plane ride was stressful, for both of them. They were fortunate enough that someone was willing to switch seats so that they could sit next to each other, hands intertwined and heads pressed together. Shelby prayed in her head most of the flight, out loud sometimes, as well. The familiar incantations always brought her peace, and cleared her head of any thoughts but the words she wanted to share with the Lord. She felt God’s grace in the gentle weight of Toni’s head against her, and the tight grip of her hand. God had sent Toni to be her rock, to love and protect her through anything. She thanked Him for that everyday, but this day set a record. 

_

They arrived in Texas, and Toni guided Shelby to the rental car service that she’d reserved while sitting in the airport. She was so good at planning things out, even under duress. She once told Shelby she’d learned that on the island. 

As the worker at the rental car place talked on and on about insurance and damages and this and that and who cares what, and as Toni filled out seemingly endless forms, Shelby recalled the island. Patience. She’d learned patience when she waited so, so long to be rescued, and when she was stuck with a certain brunette who just couldn’t quit picking fights with her. It had all turned out better than okay, and maybe this will too.

_

Toni dropped Shelby off at the hospital door. They didn’t need to discuss it, it would ultimately be more stressful to try to being Toni around Shelby’s dad than to have her support. Toni kissed her and held her as long as she needed. 

“I’m gonna go to that hotel right there and get us a room. Call me or text me whenever and I’ll be there, got it?” She said. Shelby nodded before leaning in for one last kiss before leaving the car. 

As hard as it was to be away from her wife, she took comfort in knowing that Toni knew she was strong enough for this. 

She walked in and read the directions her mom had given her for the umpteenth time.  **Take the West elevator to level 7, go left until you see the nurses station, then turn right, then there’s a sort of curve where you right again and then we’re in room 70093.**

Good thing she’d volunteered in this very hospital about a decade before, or she’d be lost. She still got a little lost, she thought to herself that just like the hospital they’d all been in after the bunker, this place was designed to disorient and confuse. But just like after the bunker, maybe everything would be okay one day.

When she found room 70093, she stood outside for a minute, looking at the door, at the text from her mom, at the “Goodkind” scribbled on the dry erase board outside the door, and kept waiting to make sure she wasn’t somehow making a mistake. Kept hoping this wouldn’t really be his room and that none of this would really be real. Her mind didn’t want to let her step foot in the room, but at some point, her feet took over and she walked in. 

The first thing she saw was her mother asleep in a chair, a blanket barely covering her. Shelby was tempted to walk up to her and cover her up, without daring to look over where she knew the hospital bed to be. But she had to. 

There was her dad, and to her surprise, he was awake. He looked at her, clearly confused, as though he expected her to disappear into thin air. 

“Hi Daddy.” She whispered. 

He stared back at her, and she couldn’t tell anymore if he was confused or angry, but she knew she was  _ terrified.  _

“Uh-buh.” He said. 

Shelby looked to her mom, desperate for her to wake up, to do anything, say anything, save her. She wanted to curl into her arms and have her stroke her back the way she did when she was little. 

“Buh-ti?” Her dad said. 

Shelby felt stuck to the ground. Here was this man-the same man who had taken her ATV-ing, who had bought her everything on her Christmas list, who had sung with her, the man who had screamed fiery hate at her when she told him she’d found the love of her life, the man who had instilled in her the love of God she still felt and the fear of Him she was still working to unlearn. 

This man, so articulately viscous the last time they’d spoken, could not seem to say a single word now. The man who had swung her around in circles, taken her on runs, carried her back to her room when she fell asleep on the couch, now lay crumpled into himself, his entire right side completely, visibly limp. 

The man who had eaten nothing but pure, organic meals of lean meat, veggies and ancient grains, now sat before a tray of purred something and water thickened with cornstarch so that he’d have less of a chance of choking to death. 

How could this be? How could any of this be?

“Puh-tuh” Her dad said, still looking at her with a face of confusion. She watched him look her up and down and wondered if he noticed her small baby bump, and if he did, what he thought about it. 

Just then, a nurse came in the room and introduced himself to Shelby. This woke her mother up and the nurse spoke to her mother for a minute, while Shelby stood in silence, before the nurse left the room. 

“Shelby’s here, hun.” She said loudly to her husband. He nodded. 

Shelby realized that at some point she’d come to rest her hands on top of her abdomen-perhaps seeking some comfort from the small piece of Toni inside her. She looked down at her hands, resting on top of the baby her dad might not have known about, and at her ring, received at a wedding he refused to attend. 

She looked back up at him, and wondered why she’d come. To seek reconciliation? Why wait until he’s like this? It wasn’t her job anyway, to start that process. Was it in case he died, that she might have a chance to say goodbye? What would be the point of that? He’d already declared their relationship dead long ago. 

Shelby’s brother and sister were both studying abroad. She wondered if she was here only because she was the only child who could be there the same day. 

She wondered what her dad would do if she’d had a stroke, or been in an accident, or anything. Would he have rushed to her bedside? She decided it didn’t matter. She did what she felt was right. He can continue to do wrong, but she will do right anyway. 

Shelby’s dad looked to her mom and said “Kuhh?.” Her mom reached out and took her his hand, running her thumb over the back of it. Shelby couldn’t help but picture herself, standing beside Toni in a situation like this. Her hands flew back to her stomach, thinking of their own daughter, standing there, watching them. She knew that at the very least, her and Toni would do better by their daughter than her parents had done by her. 

“The speech therapist was by earlier.” Shelby’s mom says, keeping her eyes on her husband. “She said it’s too soon to tell what’s going to happen, but starting tomorrow they’ll be working with him as long as he’s in here for.” She sounded hopeful. 

Shelby felt a chill wash over as she thought to herself, just for a second, that maybe if her dad couldn’t ever talk again, things would be better. If he couldn’t curse the fact she was carrying her and her wife’s baby, maybe there could be some semblance of hope for her daughter meeting her grandfather one day. 

Shelby stayed a little while longer, mostly talking to her mom about her siblings’ adventures in Europe and Australia. It felt weird, she’d come to see her dad, but she didn’t know how to interact with him (or if she really wanted to) so she just talked to her mom, an entire trip that really could have just been a phone call. Her mom didn’t ask her anything, not about Toni or the baby or even her job. Shelby wondered what her dad could understand from their conversation, and if he did understand them, how might he have reacted if she had said something about her wife or their baby. But she let it go.

Eventually, a neurology resident came in the room and introduced herself, explaining that soon they’d be taking her dad down for some testing. Shelby took this opportunity to excuse herself. She hugged her mom, and as they pulled away, her mom put her hand on Shelby’s abdomen. She looked towards her dad then, but it seemed he hadn’t noticed. She felt like such a child, hiding something from her father.

“I’m gonna let you go now, Daddy. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Shelby said, taking his hand. She squeezed it, and she felt a squeeze back. 

She wondered if it was an affectionate squeeze or a muscle spasm. 

As soon as she left the room, she pulled out her phone and called Toni. She picked up on the first ring. “I’m in the west lobby of the hospital.” Toni said as she picked up. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Shelby replied, holding back tears. 

As soon as she stepped off the elevator, there was Toni. Shelby collapsed into her arms and sobbed. She didn’t have the thought to be ashamed, she just let herself break, knowing Toni would pick up the pieces, the way they always did for each other.

_

They spent the rest of the evening in the hotel room. Shelby cried multiple times, Toni joined in a few times as well. They watched the shitty hotel cable and ordered delivery from a barbeque place..

“They just don’t make it like this up north.” Shelby said around a mouthful of juicy, perfectly flavored meat. 

Toni laughed as she licked sauce from her fingers. “I mean it’s good, but I think you’re overselling it, babe.”

Shelby shook her head as she stuffed a third biscuit into her mouth. “Nope, it’s that good. If I hurl after this, it’ll totally be worth it.”

Toni laughed “You probably will. Baby doesn’t like southern food, she told me.”

Shelby rolled her eyes at Toni’s ongoing joke that revolved around her apparently having conversations with the fetus and the fetus miraculously holding all the same opinions as her. 

“What else did she say?” Shelby asked.

“She said her Mama is the strongest, bravest, most selfless and amazing woman in the world.” Toni leaned forward and kissed Shelby’s nose. Shelby rolled her eyes again, but still loved hearing it, and hoped her daughter really would look up to her one day.

“She also said she hates country music.”

“Nuh-uh, she said no such thing!” Shelby insisted. 

“She did! In fact…” Toni grinned and pressed her ear to Shelby’s stomach “she’s saying it right now!” 

Shelby broke out laughing and insisting her wife was full of it. 

“Oh what’s that baby? You don’t like _Taylor Swift_? Oooh, Mama’s NOT gonna like that!”

Shelby gasped. “Taylor Swift is-”

“-non-negotiable” Toni finished with her. 

“She has to like Taylor Swift, she’s gonna be named after her.” Shelby teased. 

“Absolutely not!” Toni laughed and snorted, and it made Shelby laugh so hard she nearly felt tears come to her eyes. 

As she recovered from her laughing fit, Shelby gasped suddenly and put her hands on her belly. 

“What?” Toni asked, alarmed. 

“I think I...I felt her kick! I felt her kick!” Toni gasped too, joining her hands on Shelby’s belly and leaning in to kiss her bump. 

“You kicked.” She whispered. She looked up at Shelby, all the love and wonder in the world gleaming in her eyes “Our baby kicked.”

“She kicked.” Shelby started crying, yet again. A good, wonderful, elated cry. She hadn’t expected to feel the baby kicking just yet, she was in the early window for it, but she knew it wasn’t too soon, nothing to be worried about. No, it was a good thing, a wonderful thing. 

She thought it must be God and her baby working together to send her a message. Everything will be better than okay. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone is wondering: Shelby's dad had a left hemisphere stroke and as a result has severe Broca's aphasia and Unilateral Upper Motor Neuron Dysarthria. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! I'm not usually much of one for angst but like this idea came to me so I had to bang it out!
> 
> Comments are so appreciated! I get all my inspiration there and they bring me so much joy :) 
> 
> Happy New Year!


End file.
